Releasing at The Autumn Equinox

At the Autumn Equinox we observe the first day of autumn and transition from a Life cycle to a collective Death cycle. Between the Equinox, the festival of Samhain, and the Winter Solstice, we experience Part 1 of the Death cycle which is all about releasing. After the Solstice and through the Spring Equinox, we will experience Part 2 of the Death cycle which is about recovering. Today, though, we celebrate the Autumn Equinox and consider what can no longer go with us on our journey and what is ready to be released.

what is the Autumn Equinox? (and What is Mabon?)

In the simplest of terms, it’s the first day of autumn. The day and night are of equal length on the Equinoxes (hence equi-nox, meaning ‘equal night’) everywhere in the world whereas either the light or darkness is at its peak on the Solstices depending on which hemisphere is closest to the sun. At the Autumn Equinox, which occurs on or around 21/22 September each year, daylight takes a bow and hands over to the darkness as the earth continues to tilt the Northern Hemisphere away from the sun, resulting in longer and longer nights until the Winter Solstice.

You also may have heard the name Mabon (pronounced may-bon) in the context of the Autumn Equinox. Although both names refer to the same astronomical phenomenon, Mabon is more specifically a pagan festival (or sabbat) on the Wheel of the Year celebrating the final harvest before winter (we just witnessed the Super Harvest Moon this week in fact) and the balance and duality in nature. Many cultures observe Mabon as the second harvest festival despite the name itself being a relatively modern one (derivative, though, of an ancient Welsh myth). In my favorite book about the Wheel of Year (okay it’s a children’s book but a great one), author Fiona Cook reminds us,

“Traditionally, and to this day, the Harvest Moon marks the time when farmers and gardeners collect the bulk of their food.”

Life is Not Linear

Life, like the healing process, is not linear. Just as blood, our lifeforce, circulates around the body through a series of expansions and contractions of the heart, life is cyclical. It expands and contracts like nature which revolves in a spiral, moving between Life, Death, and Rebirth cycles.

Those of us who follow the Wheel of the Year more than the modern Gregorian calendar tend to do so because we prefer to flow with the rhythm of nature instead of against it. Flowing with nature means honoring seasonal cycles whatever those may be where we live, and how our bodies and energy respond to such. To me, flowing with nature looks like taking my breaks during the autumn and winter and working my butt off during the spring and summer. Society would have me scheduling my life inversely though, but this is part of the reason we’re so out of sync and our mental and physical health pays the price.

While the earth marks its Life, Death, and Rebirth cycles through the seasons, our lives tend to follow their own rhythms. For example, my deepest Death cycle occurred between 2016-2021, a period when finding the will to stay alive was sometimes difficult, and yet it seemed like everyone around me was thriving in their own Life cycles. I felt like I had no support and isolated myself, weary of seeing posts about buying houses, weddings, job promotions, et cetera. Then came my Rebirth cycle as the very same people shared stories about how things were starting to seem lacklustre and bumps were appearing on their roads. Over the past 12 months I’ve finally been experiencing a Life cycle but many of the people around me are firmly in their Death cycles. Once again I felt like I couldn’t share my own experience for fear of upsetting others experiencing the opposite.

Then I did some work around this reluctance and decided, f*** it. I released this nonsense belief that my life should be linear and that if I wasn’t orbiting in the same direction at the same speed as my peers, something was wrong with me. No one’s life is linear. My timeline doesn’t always align with that of my peers and that’s okay. I was introduced to Death far sooner than they were for some reason, and now I’m guiltlessly enjoying my Life cycle regardless of what way anyone else is cycling. I can both honor my own cycles and respect those of others because we’re not moving together on a linear path. We’re spiraling around this big wheel that is earth in our own orbits.

Photo taken by me in Manchester, Vermont in October 2022

How to Let Go Gracefully

Just as the day and night are equal on this Equinox, today initiates a season during which we give thanks to our bounties and detach from them in equal measure. Too often we associate release with loss, surrender, or defeat when really, letting go is one of the greatest acts of self-love we will ever take. The difference between clinging to what is naturally dying and letting go with grace is the difference between suffering and liberation.

What does it mean to let go of something with grace? To me it means offering gratitude to this thing, person, habit, or belief that served us at one time and saying, “Thank you for bringing me to this moment, I release you now.” Personally, I find this ritual so helpful that every time I throw something out whether it’s an old shirt or an empty container, I hold it over the bin and say, “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me, we’re complete now, goodbye.”

When a client experiences a major cognitive shift or a breakthrough, I always encourage them to acknowledge that regardless of how problematic a pattern or belief may have been, it was there to protect them in some way. In fact, my clients are very accustomed to me saying, “Honor the grief that comes up as this belief or pattern dies.” Just because something no longer serves us doesn’t mean it never did.

The autumn season is known for its vibrancy of colors, and yet, as beloved as the flame-orange and chili-red leaves of a Sugar Maple are, the trees still release them when the time comes. The branches don’t cling to their leaves, begging them to stay, pleading to make things better; they give them grace and celebrate their foliage with hues that stop passers-by in their tracks before allowing them to die.

“As the days shorten, there’s less light for leaves to eat, so they use what they have stored. The green fades, revealing the colors underneath. Like us, the autumn trees are preparing for the colder, darker months. They draw their energy down, storing it in their roots, and shed their leaves.”

-Fiona Cook, The Wheel of the Year: An Illustrated Guide to Nature’s Rhythms

Photo taken by me in Manchester, Vermont in October 2022

Working with the Equinox

Starting to work with the energy of a Death cycle first requires us to lean into its beauty. Growing up on the east coast of North America gave me the privilege of experiencing one of nature’s most spectacular performances. Don’t get me wrong, autumn has a distinctive splendor everywhere, but anyone who has ever been leaf-peeping in this part of the world has witnessed a new level of divinity (some photos of what I’m talking about are peppered throughout this article as proof). I think we can agree that leaves are even more beautiful in their Death cycle than at the peak of their Life cycle.

Can we extend this grace to ourselves when it’s time to drop our leaves? Remembering that choosing change is an act of self-reclamation, I invite us to spend some time at this festival making a list of what hasn’t been serving us for a while now. Don’t worry about committing to anything at first, it’s more important to acknowledge what’s happening. Maybe the names of friends, family members, or that of a partner makes it on the list. Some of us may decide that a dream or goal we’ve had for a while no longer feels quite right; put it on the list. Perhaps there’s a pattern or belief that needs to change so we can move forward with our lives. Add those habits and dependencies that we feel complete with too. How about a job? Put it on the list.

Once finished, have a good look at that list and sense into what needs to go, once and for all. Feel any resistance that arises and make note of it. This resistance is the perfect subject matter to take to your trusted therapist, healer, or confidante to work through. What baby steps can you take to start releasing? For example, say a relationship has been dying for a while and we’re sick of forcing it to work. Can we engage a therapist to work through our fears and apprehensions about making the break? Or, say we’re complete with carrying what feels like endless debt. Can we make an appointment with a financial advisor at our bank to discuss options? Is a balance transfer card the solution, or is there a spending problem that needs to be addressed? Every step counts on the journey of releasing.

(And of course remember to be grateful for the bounty of the harvest and go apple or pumpkin picking at farmers markets for the best autumnal produce since now is the time to marshal our resources before the winter!)

Photo taken by me in Manchester, Vermont in October 2022 - fallen leaves of a Sugar Maple